Parking Wars 09

I am very rooted in my Italian heritage. Very. My family came from essentially nothing and achieved success both together and separately. I am fluent in understanding the language and carry the values that my parents beat into my head on a daily basis. So I can't help but roll my eyes and laugh when I see the BMW pimpin-chapstick wearin-collar-poppin-Armani exchange wearing wannabes that swear they're in an episode of The Sopranos. Really guys? Because last time I checked-your last name was O'Doyle and you couldn't be the furthest thing from Italian. All of the men in my family act nothing of the sort and are the for real OG's in this game. Please don't disrespect my heritage and give us a bad name.



This brings me to my neighbors. The Italian Restaurant owned by a round cherubic fellow who has little man syndrome and insists on making up for his height with a 12,00 square foot Suburban parked constantly at the end of my driveway making it impossible to pull in or out onto my road. (Major run on sentence but you don't mind, do you?) So what do I say to this? Whenever the fat-ass waves at me I don the most lady-like smile that I have in my tool box of facial expressions- I roll down my window and extend a perfectly manicured petite hand out the window and turn that bitch up right and extend my most favorite finger to flip that motherfucker off. With a little girlish giggle of course. He almost always looks confused.



Presently I have made it my life's goal to take this restaurant down. I'm sick of the drunk broads falling onto my lawn and the arguments between hostile Italian men and their wimpy women that look like wounded animals. SO- what's my plan you ask? Well...I have begun telling everyone- EVERYONE I know that the restaurant has roaches.Now it's only a matter of time before people A. Stop going there or B. The get inspected which I'm sure will uncover some other shady business ventures and roaches will be the least of their worries. hehe. SHHH Don't tell em it's me =)

Teach me how to love

So this whole "dating" thing is new to me. It's like I'm living on foreign soil. Just saying the word-boyfriend- is enough to send my body convulsing and red with hives. I have a problem with settling down. Not so much being loyal just settling. I always strive for better things..I have this but what I really want is that. I've convinced myself that this was the best attribute one could have because it makes me work harder to get everything I want. I guess it sux when it comes to dating.




I'm not even sure that I have it in me to love someone. But I think I'm willing to try. I've only ever really loved one person unconditionally and even still- I'm somewhat guarded. I'm someone who loves the people in my life to a fault but always keeps that at an arm's length. The fact of the matter remains that the guy I'm "dating" is away for the weekend (see below) and I miss him terribly. So I guess that's a good thing right? A start? A very slow start...

In a Perfect World

Believe me, I'm well aware that my problems are somewhat trivial when compared to say- anyone else's- but it's my life and I'm the one living it so I feel that warrants the occasional bitch feast whenever I see fit. Here we go:


-In a city this large (one of the largest in CT) with a subway and a dunkin doughnuts smacking you in the face every time you turn around one could only assume that their little neighborhood inside said city would have a dunkin doughnuts. WRONG. So say I need a coffee fix- I have to drive either downtown or to the next town over (which both would take about 20 minutes). Because god forbid I make my own coffee at home..the nerve! But incase you need to choose from one of the twelve Italian restaurants that my city has to offer- my 'hood is the place to go. Just not if your craving a large hazelnut coffee with skim milk and 4 splendas.




-In a perfect world my friends- who count on me at all hours of the day and night to help them with, fix, listen to and solve their problems- would actually take the advice that Ghandi (a.k.a. me) drops everything to give on a regular basis. Stop asking me what to do if you're going to do the complete opposite. Otherwise I am not above charging your ass for my words of wisdom. You have been warned.



-In a perfect world I would sit home and write all day and coach all year and not be working full-time and going to school full-time on top of doing the former things as well.

-Or I could just finish my degree already so I could legitimately start charging peeps for my advice haha

-And lastly, but most importantly- in a perfect world, the man I'm dating would not be in Philly (three states away and also one of my favorite cities second only to NYC) with my best friend for an entire weekend on work-related business. With a soon-to-be dead cell phone.

What. The. Fuck.

The House that Frank Built

First things First. I am the Worst. Babysitter. Ever. Why am I the first babysitter ever? Let me explain.



My best friend has two amazing kids. A 5 y/o boy and a 1 y/o girl. She also has a deadbeat "baby daddy" (i hate that term but whatever). Said baby daddy decided to bail on watching his kids (surprise surprise) while my bff had a job interview. So I came to the rescue and picked up her son from daycare. I throw him in the backseat, strap him in and off we go to Mickie D's for a happy meal. While in the car I try making conversation. "How was your day?" "Did you do anything fun?" When he didn't respond I asked him why he was so quiet and he says and I quote. "I'm reading this book." A book? In my back seat? Huh? Well as we're pulling through the McDonald's drive through I turn around and see what he's reading. The Victoria's Secret Catalogue. Can you say WINNNNNNNER.

On a lighter note- and more importantly- Although I fail in babysitting children 101 i get an A plus in babysitting grown men. A.k.a. my dad. I single-handedly saved The House that Frank Built from burning down into the depths of hell. I came home from the gym to find my kitchen overflowing with smoke. Where was my dad while his cooking was minutes away from taking away generations of work? In the basement getting a pepper...so he could fry some more!!!!!! Good deed for the day is done- I need a drink.

Now is the time..

She has the right idea! Prop 8!

Please PLEASE read this article below from Melissa Etheridge posted by www.thedailybeast.com in regards to Prop 8!

Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books.

Okay, cool I don't mean to get too personal here but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow, come to think of it, there are quite a few of us fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra cash this year. What recession? We're gay! I am sure there will be a little box on the tax forms now single, married, divorced, gay, check here if you are gay, yeah, that's not so bad. Of course all of the waiters and hairdressers and UPS workers and gym teachers and such, they won't have to pay their taxes either.

Note Worthy Things and People

I hope everyone was able to get out and vote today! Or tonight. It felt really great to be able to say I participated in this nation's most historic election (to date). I was one of the early birds this morning waiting at the poles before they opened. The election moderators were all alive during the Lincoln administration I'm sure and every one of them had their depends in a bunch. But I didn't let them stop me from casting my ballot and smiling while doing so. In honor of today I'd like to note some people and things that pretty much rule my life and give me the inspiration to go on! Enjoy!






You might remember him from American Idol. He was the contestant who slept in his car and whose mother is suffering from cancer. Well, Josiah is an amazingly young and talented individual who is trying to record an album. Unfortunately, he is binded into contract with Idol and can not record under any other label. His song "One Last Song" is outrageous and I hope you download it!














All of these books are currently occupying my own personal library shelves and I would recommend to any and all looking for a good read!



Douche or not. John Mayer is amazing.






I really don't think there is another musician out there as passionate about what they do than Rob Thomas. Aside from his Philanthropic work Rob Thomas refuses to sell out even after his labels repeated attempts and he is truly a man with something to say. And I love that =)